In Defense Of Introversion

The Leo type is the most dominant, spontaneously creative and extrovert of all the zodiacal characters. In grandeur of manner, splendor of bearing and magnanimity of personality, they are the monarch’s among humans as the lion is king of beasts. They are ambitious, courageous, dominant, strong willed, positive, independent, self-confident there is no such a word as doubt in their vocabularies, and they are self-controlled. Born leaders, either in support of, or in revolt against, the status quo. They are at their most effective when in a position of command, their personal magnetism and innate courtesy of mind bringing out the best of loyalty from subordinates.

While I feel most of those traits apply to me (ambitions, strong willed ) I am the most introverted Leo there is. When I am around people I feel comfortable with who I know love me I have no problem being more brazen and being the center of attention. But when I am with new people or people I am not comfortable with I tend to keep to myself and am very quiet. 

I am always afraid that my shyness comes across the wrong way and people think I am uptight, snobby and a bitch. It is not any of these things, it’s just while I really want to reach out and meet new people I don’t know the right words. One of my favorite songs from the Wonder Years is “sorry I don’t laugh at the right times.” It perfectly contextualizes how I feel all of the time. I am the queen of putting my foot in my own mouth from my strong opinions and lack of a social filter. All of those things about me are fine when I am surrounded by people who understand that about me…not so much when I meet someone new. This is how my overly self-awareness manifests itself. After every conversation I am left thinking “why the fuck did I say that?’ “They probably think I’m such an ass.” “I hope I didn’t sound too self absorbed.”

In my defense though I feel there are far worse ways that my insecurity could rear it’s ugly head. I have found  that there are two types of insecure people. The one type remembering how it was liked to be made to feel uncomfortable in social settings so they try not to make anyone feel that way. The second is the type who will pick on anyone they perceive as weaker to divert attention from themselves  and brag about trivial accomplishments to boost their own ego. I think the latter is far worse.  

The main point to this rambling is shyness isn’t always coy, or pretentiousness.  

It Matters

If I had a dollar for everyone someone has told me “Oh I don’t watch the news” and then offers some reason as to why they don’t (too depressing, politicians are a bunch of liars etc) I would be able to pay off my crippling student loan debt tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong I understand that bringing up politics in certain social settings (meeting the parents for the first time, power lunch meeting with the boss, you get the idea) and I know I drive my friends nuts whenever I bring up the latest bit of nonsense that is going on in Washington. But I can’t help but feel part of the reason we have become so partisan and  have had such staggering lack of progress over the past few years is due to us as a society sticking our heads in the sand. 

  By simply throwing ones hands up in the air at the first hint of a sensitive subject we limit ourselves to another viewpoint and hearing actual legitimate facts. We can’t be too hard on ourselves though, ignorance is bliss has been engraved on many of us at a young age. Thanks to No Child Left Behind things like civic (government) classes have been cut from the curriculum and many schools only feel the need to teach American History. And if there is any mention of any foreign history it is WWI, WWII, and Vietnam (after all we fought in those wars so therefore they are important). I myself am guilty of this level of ignorance. I watched Waltz With Bashir when it first came out and instantly went on google to do some more research about the Lebanese Civil War.

But this policy leads to a dangerous level ignorance that often leads to inaction. Every year there is some news channel, often on a slow news day that will do a story about how many Americans cannot pass the Citizenship Test and name simple things like rights guaranteed under the Bill of Rights (because after all the only important one is the 2nd Amendment and over mah cold dead body is anyone taking mah gun!). By breeding a ignorant, apathetic population we are doomed to elect people who have only their own interests at heart while the masses sit blindly complacent to what really goes on. 

Flash forward to the 2012 elections where the Tea Party Candidates took their seats in Congress and were given tremendous power and opportunity to do significant damage to this nation. To fully explain the point I am trying to make I am going to point to Michele Bachmann. This woman was elected and is a  Representative in the United States House. She was a potential Tea Party candidate for the 2012 Presidential elections. What makes her so dangerous? This http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAaDVOd2sRQ! Michele Bachmann actually stood on the House Floor and said Carbon Dioxide is a harmless gas and continued to spew bogus science. Now the huddled masses that elected this woman are not the type to do any type of fact checking and will believe almost everything she and Fox News presumably says.

And why shouldn’t they? She is a member of Congress, surely to be elected to high office it is only logical to assume that a certain level of intelligence is required. Wrong. Due to campaign finance laws it really only matters how much money you have to spend on a campaign. In order to get money through Super PACS it is necessary to pander to corporations (they are people after all). I have a sinking suspicion that Koch Industries http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koch_Industries had something to do with Ms. Bachmann ignoring all logic and scientific fact and denying Global Warming despite being proven true time and time again. 

This is why paying attention matters. This is why who we elect matters. It can be an uncomfortable conversation at times but I think it is worth it. America used to be a great nation. For those of you playing at home I used the past tense of that word. Right now Congress is playing a very dangerous game with the shutdown and the Debt Ceiling. But we elected these people. We have no one to blame but ourselves.